Raising a child to be vegetarian or dealing with one while one parent enjoys meat can be confusing. You enjoy your fish, while your spouse digs his veggies…or you both enjoy meat, while it makes your child queasy. How do you guide your child’s eating choices, without passing value judgements?
When Vijayluxmi Bose’s son was young, he refused to touch his meat and found fish smelly — a very difficult situation indeed for a Bengali family. He equated meat with animals and the sight of meat on his plate brought images of animals being slaughtered.
Despite pressure from well-meaning relatives and friends, Bose decided to let her son be. However, she says, “He now has eggs and occasionally kebabs. But if there’s a choice between rajma and korma, he’ll choose the former.” He’s also been explained that it may be discourteous to refuse meat as a guest at someone’s house, when veggies may be a more expensive option or when they rarely figure as part of the menu.
Parents’ Dilemma
It’s tough for parents to walk the talk when it comes to raising kids as ‘veggies’, even when the choice is made for them. A young mother, a vegetarian, shares her dilemma, “My husband is a hardcore non-vegetarian and I don’t even eat eggs, so I had my task cut out when my daughter was old enough to understand. However, we are of one opinion that she doesn’t really need to eat meat now and it will be entirely her choice once she is old enough.”
Leaving it to the child to decide may work in some cases, but is easier said than done for others. Sumita Thapar’s parents decided to allow their three children to choose to eat meat if they wished despite being vegetarians themselves. She states, “Today, two of us remain hardcore vegetarian. One of my brothers enjoys his mutton, and my little nephew counts bacon as his favourite food. Fine by all of us.”
Having a set of parents, one vegetarian, and the other ‘non-veg’, can make for a confused child. Priya Cassens rewinds to her childhood, “The child wants to emulate the parents’ eating habits and doesn’t know what to do. While Mom was vegetarian and we are vegetarians by caste, Dad had opportunities to sample meat dishes at the neighbours’, growing up in northIndia
My parents never discouraged me from eating meat, but it was never really ever prepared at home and if Dad ever wanted to cook chicken occasionally, Mom asked him to use separate utensils and dishes.”
She adds, “So while I had been introduced to meat at a very early age and even liked the taste of it, I think watching my Mom not eat it, and not even like the smell of it, made me feel uncomfortable about eating meat.” While her brother grew up unreservedly relishing meat-based dishes, she chooses chicken and fish only if there isn’t “a good vegetarian alternative”.
Confusing Rules And Standards
For parents who want to ensure their children stay vegetarian, how do they explain to a child that it’s wrong to kill animals when one parent eats meat? Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria believes there’s no perfect way to do this. She says, “The child wonders why there are different rules or standards set for him and his parent. In order to deal with this situation, you can start by telling your child that different individuals tend to follow different eating habits for different reasons.
One has learnt from childhood that eating meat is okay, however, the other has learnt that eating meat involves killing animals which is morally incorrect. You can emphasise on the positive aspects of eating vegetarian food. For instance, it’s healthier and easier to digest. Also, it is important that you focus on the eating behaviour and don’t give any labels to the parent, such as: ‘he’s doing wrong, it doesn’t mean you do it, too’.”
And, how do you deal with emotional children, once they make the connection that meat comes from animals they love reading about or see around them? Chhabria adds, “If the child is very attached emotionally to, say, a toy duck that she plays with while having a bath, you need not explain how the animal is killed and made into meat.
Also, you can give the child a scientific and nature-based explanation as to how the ecosystem maintains its balance when people eat farm food as well as animals. It’s important that the parent helps the child understand that there is no sin in eating meat.” It’s wise to allow the child to explore and take her own decision.
Is Vegetarianism Good?
Meanwhile, is a purely veggie diet good for kids? Explains Delhi-based dietician Beena Arora, “The nutritional needs of children change, as they grow. A vegetarian diet can meet a child’s nutritional needs, but only if it is well-planned. A diet rich in fruits and veggies will be high in fibre and low in fat, factors known to improve cardiovascular health by reducing blood cholesterol and maintaining a healthy weight.
If your child insists on pizzas or burgers, make it at home and include as many veggies as you can.”
She cautions, “Some of the nutrients that vegetarians should include in their diet are: vitamin B12 — present in dairy products and vitamin-fortified products like cereals and bread; vitamin D — present in citrus juices;
Calcium — dairy products, green leafy vegetables, tofu and other soy products being the rich source; Iron — whole grains, leafy green vegetables, and iron-fortified cereals, bread and Zinc — wheat germ, nuts, fortified cereal, dried beans, and pumpkin seeds.”
It’s a balancing act, in more ways than one! Ultimately, it’s a matter of choice.
When Vijayluxmi Bose’s son was young, he refused to touch his meat and found fish smelly — a very difficult situation indeed for a Bengali family. He equated meat with animals and the sight of meat on his plate brought images of animals being slaughtered.
Despite pressure from well-meaning relatives and friends, Bose decided to let her son be. However, she says, “He now has eggs and occasionally kebabs. But if there’s a choice between rajma and korma, he’ll choose the former.” He’s also been explained that it may be discourteous to refuse meat as a guest at someone’s house, when veggies may be a more expensive option or when they rarely figure as part of the menu.
Parents’ Dilemma
It’s tough for parents to walk the talk when it comes to raising kids as ‘veggies’, even when the choice is made for them. A young mother, a vegetarian, shares her dilemma, “My husband is a hardcore non-vegetarian and I don’t even eat eggs, so I had my task cut out when my daughter was old enough to understand. However, we are of one opinion that she doesn’t really need to eat meat now and it will be entirely her choice once she is old enough.”
Leaving it to the child to decide may work in some cases, but is easier said than done for others. Sumita Thapar’s parents decided to allow their three children to choose to eat meat if they wished despite being vegetarians themselves. She states, “Today, two of us remain hardcore vegetarian. One of my brothers enjoys his mutton, and my little nephew counts bacon as his favourite food. Fine by all of us.”
Having a set of parents, one vegetarian, and the other ‘non-veg’, can make for a confused child. Priya Cassens rewinds to her childhood, “The child wants to emulate the parents’ eating habits and doesn’t know what to do. While Mom was vegetarian and we are vegetarians by caste, Dad had opportunities to sample meat dishes at the neighbours’, growing up in north
My parents never discouraged me from eating meat, but it was never really ever prepared at home and if Dad ever wanted to cook chicken occasionally, Mom asked him to use separate utensils and dishes.”
She adds, “So while I had been introduced to meat at a very early age and even liked the taste of it, I think watching my Mom not eat it, and not even like the smell of it, made me feel uncomfortable about eating meat.” While her brother grew up unreservedly relishing meat-based dishes, she chooses chicken and fish only if there isn’t “a good vegetarian alternative”.
Confusing Rules And Standards
For parents who want to ensure their children stay vegetarian, how do they explain to a child that it’s wrong to kill animals when one parent eats meat? Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria believes there’s no perfect way to do this. She says, “The child wonders why there are different rules or standards set for him and his parent. In order to deal with this situation, you can start by telling your child that different individuals tend to follow different eating habits for different reasons.
One has learnt from childhood that eating meat is okay, however, the other has learnt that eating meat involves killing animals which is morally incorrect. You can emphasise on the positive aspects of eating vegetarian food. For instance, it’s healthier and easier to digest. Also, it is important that you focus on the eating behaviour and don’t give any labels to the parent, such as: ‘he’s doing wrong, it doesn’t mean you do it, too’.”
And, how do you deal with emotional children, once they make the connection that meat comes from animals they love reading about or see around them? Chhabria adds, “If the child is very attached emotionally to, say, a toy duck that she plays with while having a bath, you need not explain how the animal is killed and made into meat.
Also, you can give the child a scientific and nature-based explanation as to how the ecosystem maintains its balance when people eat farm food as well as animals. It’s important that the parent helps the child understand that there is no sin in eating meat.” It’s wise to allow the child to explore and take her own decision.
Is Vegetarianism Good?
Meanwhile, is a purely veggie diet good for kids? Explains Delhi-based dietician Beena Arora, “The nutritional needs of children change, as they grow. A vegetarian diet can meet a child’s nutritional needs, but only if it is well-planned. A diet rich in fruits and veggies will be high in fibre and low in fat, factors known to improve cardiovascular health by reducing blood cholesterol and maintaining a healthy weight.
If your child insists on pizzas or burgers, make it at home and include as many veggies as you can.”
She cautions, “Some of the nutrients that vegetarians should include in their diet are: vitamin B12 — present in dairy products and vitamin-fortified products like cereals and bread; vitamin D — present in citrus juices;
Calcium — dairy products, green leafy vegetables, tofu and other soy products being the rich source; Iron — whole grains, leafy green vegetables, and iron-fortified cereals, bread and Zinc — wheat germ, nuts, fortified cereal, dried beans, and pumpkin seeds.”
It’s a balancing act, in more ways than one! Ultimately, it’s a matter of choice.
http://www.speakingtree.in/view-article/Vegetarian-Or-Not
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