Life is a sales pitch!

Maina Sharma is an introvert, who likes to sit back at a party and watch as others air their views.
But, if there's a whiff of a potential client, she's transformed, and one sees her engaged in animated chatter with the prospective target.

Yes, Maina is in Sales, a job that requires you never to take no for an answer. Not just a tough, but demeaning job, one that requires a thousand deaths for the ego and yet one has to pick oneself up and move on again. While seven out of 10 crumble under the pressure of meeting sales targets and fall by the wayside, according to a senior industry professional, the rest learn to be up for any challenge. Says Maina, "I used to be shy but can now walk into any office to meet the top man."

It also makes them experts in human behaviour. Says S. Sanchitha, "You can gauge a client's reaction by the body language." She admits it's a power she can choose to wield in personal life too, "Yes, I'm aware of how to manipulate a situation in my favour."

An important lesson the constant rejection taught her was to drop her ego. She confesses, "I told myself that the rejection was aimed at the company representative, not at 'me'. I've learnt to separate myself from a situation.'

Says Umesh Ramakrishnan, vice-chairman, CT Partners and author of There's No Elevator to the Top, "You actually have to smile after being slapped since you need the right mental make-up to make the next sale. A good salesperson makes you like them as you part with your money for something that you didn't think you needed just a short while ago."

He adds, "People in Sales are typically ones that have strong opinions and have no qualms about airing them. Not everyone likes being around them but they are also the life of the party."

However, it's a field fraught with highs and lows. Every victory is celebrated by the whole team.

Counsels psychologist Seema Hingorrany, "Many complain of fatigue, irritability, anxiety and insomnia. Some get nightmares related to their work." She adds, "They might release pent up anger on their spouses or shut themselves off, since they are tired of communicating. However, they can be diplomatic, which helps a relationship."

Confesses Bharath Krishnaswamy, general manager of UST Global, "Sometimes the sales traits don't wear off after work. I have been told by my wife and friends to drop my 'sales hat' after work. Unconsciously, one tries to sell a favourite restaurant or a dish to family and friends, just because I like that place."

States Sunil Kumar Alagh, chairman, SKA Advisors, "It's important to be able to switch off after office hours. Also, learn to cry alone and laugh with others. Family is extremely important, everything else comes and goes but relationships last forever."

Interestingly, while most salesmen will look down upon an MBA "who has no field experience in direct selling", hardcore selling is rarely a first choice for a career. As one puts it, "No father dreams that his child will become a salesman, it's always an MBA or an engineer. You become a salesman by chance not by choice." One reason is that most jobs available are in sales. However, the high of closing a sale can be addictive. Admits Sanchitha, "I shifted to operations for a year and missed selling. As sales executives, we were the blue-eyed team, as we bring in the money."

In the film Rocket Singh, Salesman of the Year, most people in sales could relate to the competition between colleagues. Maina and her colleague, once good friends, didn't speak to each other for weeks because they went after the same client. Admits another, "There's constant undercutting to meet targets."

However, the bottomline is about building long-term relationships. Explains Chironmoy Chatterjee, head of sales, Perfetti Van Melle India, "Relationships drive the business. Relationships are built on honesty, because you can fool somebody once but you cannot do it again and again.'

He adds, "A salesman has no boss, his results speak for his performance." As Rocket Singh would say, 'Pocket mein rocket hai ... ! '

The tale goes short!

Anuradha Varma, TNN, Mar 27, 2011
 
Stuck in a doctor's waiting room, the metro or awaiting a delayed flight? How about picking up Fish In Paneer Soup... no, that's not a meal takeaway, but a book for your mind to snack on. There's more where that comes from, with titles like Mom Says No Girlfriend, Can't Die for Size Zero, Losing My Virginity & Other Dumb Ideas and Chocolate, Guitar, Momos gracing bookshelves.

From office politics to teen chick-lit and urban angst, these books are often less than 200 pages between the covers, priced between Rs 95 and Rs 250 and written by authors drawn from the very readers they aim at — college students and those starting their careers. Interestingly, they are brought out by leading publishing houses that have caught on to the market savvy of catering to the young and restless with attention spans to match.

Author Shobhaa De is supportive of the trend, "The shorter, snappier, more affordable book fits in perfectly with the shorter, snappier attention spans of today's young readers. It is hard enough to get youngsters to pick up books in today's 'virtual' times... publishers have to seduce them with material that reflects their lives, their concerns."

Adds Vaishali Mathur, senior commissioning editor, Penguin Books India, which has launched Metro Reads, "For the reader who travels around, has a shortage of time and doesn't have the pa tience to lug around heavy books, we have these books that have a good, gripping storyline and accessible stories that they can read in their everyday lives."

While Penguin aims at publishing six to seven such books a year, Rupa has pushed their figure to 50 annually. For Kapish Mehra, MD, Rupa & Co, it was the phenomenal success of Chetan Bhagat's Five-Point Someone that changed the rules of the game. "We began with campus fiction and went on to chick-lit (such as Pink or Black by 18-year-old author Tishaa) and corporate fiction."

While Kapish terms originality of an idea, continuity of thought and a target audience as the hallmark of a good book, most do not make the literary cut, barring a few such as Paritosh Uttam's Dreams in Prussian Blue (Penguin) and Rajorshi Chakraborti's The Balloonists (Tranquebar), where the protagonist ups and leaves his girlfriend when she announces her pregnancy, to contact another ex-girlfriend, accompanied along the way by her exboyfriend.

A Pune-based software engineer, Paritosh was 26 years old when he wrote the short story in 2003 that Penguin asked him to expand into a novel in 2009. He says, "The theme is relationships among the urban youth, of love, loss, longing and ambition. The target reader is the young urban reader, probably in college or just out of it." Paritosh has also edited and contributed 10 stories to Urban Shots, published by Grey Oak.

For filmmaker Madhuri Banerjee, author of Losing My Virginity and Other Dumb Ideas, the epiphany happened when a friend accidentally told her that she was 30 and still a virgin. Madhuri recalls, "That was the germ of the idea. I was 33 when I started writing the book. It took a few months to write it. I wrote mostly at night after the birth of my daughter who kept me awake most of the time."

Communications professional Deep Ghatak, author of Fish In Paneer Soup, finds that publishing houses are more receptive to new age writing and move quickly from acceptance to the proofing stage, although there remain some "that don't even follow guidelines specified on their own websites " . Blogger and mom Parul Sharma made the transition to writing a book with Bringing up Vasu and followed it up with By The Water Cooler.

Ismita Tandon Dhankher, author of romantic thriller Love on the Rocks, recalls when the writing bug bit her, "I began sailing with my husband in 2006 and discovered that sailors are colourful company. I was 26 years old when I just started doing poetry on the deck one evening, and that one poem changed it all!"
Before landing a publisher, Ismita says she faced at least a dozen rejections in the mail box every month, sometimes more.

When freelance writer Sonali Ghosh Sen decided to write a book, it was as the outpourings of a fan for Bollywood star Shah Rukh Khan in Kkkrazy About Khan. She says, "I've aimed it at what I like to call the 'Shah Rukh generation' — people who've grown up with his movies and who'll relive those years with fondness when they read the book."

So, can just about anyone be a writer... and is that necessarily a bad thing? Shobhaa De doesn't think so. She says, "Of course, anybody can be an author! Isn't that wonderful? I have always said, 'There is a book in everyone'. The only question is whether or not the person wants to write it!"

She admits, "Well... some books are terrific, some are plain bad. It's a whole new language out there, a different ball game, a fresh market. Why sniff at innovation?"

Why, indeed? So, if you were toying with that idea for a book, this is the time to go for it. Who knows, a publisher may be waiting for just that manuscript to pop into their inbox!

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-03-27/people/29194715_1_young-readers-chick-lit-affordable-book

Getting Over T

Can you un-love just like you un-friend on Facebook? My priority right now is to get over what I can call my freedom in exile period and truly enjoy my sense of bliss…. I can almost taste the unadulterated sense of bliss. If only I could step into that zone even as I write this. So, what’s stopping me? Me. Writing, I can see, is like talking to myself, being the kind of friend my friends wouldn’t recommend at this point — allowing self-indulgence, an almost self-destructive urge to not end my term in exile. Not letting go would be a more apt term, but, can you blame me? Yes, obviously you can, but in this self-indulgent mood, I tend to cut myself slack, although knowing it may not be good for me.

In fact, I have been in exile for pretty much of my ‘relationship’ with T. A lot of time spent with myself, wallowing, being self-indulgent… being destructive, being cheerful. So, is it just a part of me I don’t want to let go of? And, does this mean that I let go of T at some point, unknown to myself? Or maybe I haven’t really… I don’t know, honestly! One thing I do know (besides knowing what I don’t know!) is that there’s not much choice in the matter really — it just doesn’t make sense to stay depressed, even if for a moment — because, simply, it’s over!

Anyway, easier said than done. What’s so hard to let go of? Even though T and I went on and off for a good part of 20 years, this feels like my first real break-up. This is the first time I know there’s no going back and that he’s not coming back. And, all I can feel is that I want him back. For one last time, I can feel like he’s still mine, mine to rail against, mine to complain about, mine to love, critique and analyse.

As T himself put it, many years ago, even before I had realized it myself, that wherever he went, whatever he did, I felt he was mine. He articulated a feeling I hadn’t realized myself. And, now I wonder if he remembers… And, I know he thought I was his, or rather, I can’t really ‘know’. But, there were days when I knew he would rather talk to someone on the phone for hours even as he felt he didn’t have much to say to me or hear from me… Towards the end, I knew I had to just wait for it to touch bottom, the downslide had already begun in steady fall… I just had to wait it out. I did and I was rewarded with news of T’s wedding… and now, as I wait for my own free fall to freedom, I can feel the excitement of revisiting my carefree 20s… I enjoy the sun, the wind, a long auto ride, find joy in the mundane. I find an eclipse has lifted and the loneliness has left. I’m falling in love, but with the world around me. It’s beautiful. It will take some time to fall in love with myself again, much as I have been criticized for, well, pretty much everything.

Yet, I find myself wanting to get over and yet wanting to cling on. I don’t want to forget little things he said, little things he did… good or bad. He was my top priority, my one passion in life — forgetting would be like developing amnesia, losing a part of myself, a lobotomy? I don’t know… I’m sure I don’t want to exchange another word with him, it’s over, but does expunging a person from your life mean expunging yourself? How do I separate the two, when I never learnt to do that all these years?

I don’t know… maybe the answer lies in the mundane. One day, I will just have forgotten. I just hope I will not be a stranger to myself then.

Till then clichés will have to do… as they say, it’s never over till it’s over, and this time, it really is!

Born a love child

 Anuradha Varma, TNN, Feb 15, 2011

More than 25 years ago, when Neena Gupta had lovechild Masaba with cricketer Vivian Richards, the tabloids went to town with the news. It was the same when Raj Babbar walked out on his family to be with the late Smita Patil, who was pregnant with their son Prateik.
Times have changed and when musician Anoushka Shankar, herself sitarist Ravi Shankar's lovechild, sets a wedding date only after announcing her pregnancy weeks before or model-anchor Padma Lakshmi has a child, without caring to announce the father's name, the world cheers for women empowerment. The women and the offspring seem totally comfortable in their skin.

Being a lovechild is no stigma for this generation. But society has a long way to go, believes Masaba. She says, "The concept of a lovechild being openly accepted in India is a far-fetched idea. Though it's not discussed in a bad light today, a child born out of wedlock will never be welcomed with warmth. Divorce and extra-marital affairs have slowly found acceptance in our society, but if you look at it, Aren't live-in relationships still taboo? And, a child born out of this 'perceived' taboo you think will be accepted? Never."

While Masaba was lucky to have her father cricketer Viv Richards involved in her growing years, others have not been so lucky. Ravi Shankar's other child out of wedlock, Grammy winner Norah Jones, saw her father a few times a year until she was nine, and then not until she was 18. Imran Khan fought a paternity battle with ex-girlfriend Sita White, when she charged him with fathering her daughter Tyrian.
Prateik, however, seems to almost revel in the status. In an interview, he was quoted as saying, "I like being called a wildchild. I'm fascinated by the whole 60s era. I read somewhere that I'm my parents' lovechild. ..It's quite cool to be thought about like that."

For Aatish Taseer, born of Indian journalist Tavleen Singh and late Pakistan governor Salman Taseer, it took time to cover the distance with his father and between the two countries. In his book Stranger to History, he writes about watching his father post Benazir's murder, "I felt a great sympathy as I watched the man I had judged so harshly, for not facing his past when it came to me, muse in the pain of history in this country."

In a generation of single parenting and live-in relationships, it may soon become easier to take such a decision. Unwed mother Mrinalini (name changed) was sure she wanted to keep the baby. And almost a year on, she's at peace with her decision. Says Mrinalini, "I always wanted a baby. I was crossing 35 and chances of a normal delivery were low. I also didn't believe in abortion. I had been living on my own for some years and while life was good, it felt without purpose. There are moments when I miss a companion, but overall, my happiness has more than doubled. I don't care for society. I have shared an open relationship with my parents. They were initially hesitant, but once my son was born, they fell in love with him. People who know you, accept you for what you are."

The call of motherhood can claim anyone, married or single. Says Firuza Parekh, director of the IVF centre at Jaslok Hospital, Mumbai, "I am counselling two women, both seriously considering freezing their eggs as they feel their biological clocks are slowing down. If marriage does not happen soon, they are willing to fertilise their frozen eggs with donor sperm and have the embryos transferred."

Attitudes towards unconventional relationships and decisions are gradually becoming more relaxed. Says psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria, "Women, in general, have become emotionally and sexually bolder. It is still looked down upon. However, there are more educated people who are open and accepting towards someone having a 'lovechild' as the dynamics of relationships have been showing a changing trend."

For women who do choose to tread this path, there are several concerns ahead. For one, can they leave out the father's name on the child's birth certificate? Says lawyer Devika Singh, "While there's no law for this, it depends on the understanding with the hospital." As for documentation later, in case of travel or passport, the father needn't be involved. The same rules apply as for a widowed or divorced parent who has custody of the child.

However, whatever the pressures, young people like Masaba and Prateik have shown that it's cool to be a lovechild. And Vidya Balan, who played unwed mother in the film Paa, and other such real-life moms have shown the joys of parenting are for all, married or not!

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-02-15/man-woman/28378157_1_lovechild-love-child-unwed-mother

How healthy is your heart?

Anuradha Varma, TNN, Mar 16, 2011

Teen obesity, lack of exercise and unhealthy lifestyles are pushing us towards heart diseases earlier than ever before. It's no longer uncommon to hear of someone in their 30s or 40s succumb to a heart attack as they push themselves ahead on the corporate ladder.
About 35 to 50 per cent of cases of heart disease in India affect people below the age of 50. In the West, the average age is 55. Cardiologist K K Sethi, Delhi Heart and Lung Institute, even has mothers bringing their 14-year-old children with complaints of high blood pressure. He says, "Most children today get no exercise and spend their time in front of the television, eating potato chips as they stay up the night to study. They also have big tummies. By the time they touch 40, it all accumulates in the form of a heart attack."


Heart ailments are also no longer a rich man's disease. Consumerism and urbanisation have ensured that even villages have access to unhealthy junk food like potato chips. Says Dr Sethi, "I get rickshaw-pullers who have suffered heart attacks. They eat meals cooked in unhealthy oil on the roadside."

The number one reason for a heart attack, however, remains smoking. And, among women, smoking and diabetes. According to a study in Finland, published in Tobacco Control, individuals under the age of 40, who smoke tobacco products, have a five times higher chance of having a heart attack than non-smokers. Smoking is the single most important cause of heart attacks in younger patients and among patients below the age of 40 who had heart attacks, 80 per cent were smokers. And smoking was the only risk factor identified in over half of these young victims of heart attack.

"Avoid eating jalebis and kachodi, which are cooked in vanaspati oil. It's a killer," says Dr Sethi. "The more it's reheated, it gets oxidised and creates transfats in the body," he adds.

Dr Shubha Sabharwal, nutritionist, Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, suggests, "Restrict eating out to once a week and if you're at a business meeting, opt for salads, which will also detoxify the body. Introduce fibres in your diet through bran and wheat flour. Cut down on red meat and egg yolks that are high in cholesterol. Eat foods that protect your heart. Instead of refined oil, switch to mustard or olive oil."

Familial hypercholesterolaemia (FH) is a lesser known genetic disorder that can affect people with otherwise healthy lifestyles. Heart UK advises that children of people with the condition should be tested by the time they are 10. Laparoscopic surgeon V K Nigam, Apollo Clinic, states, "Testing for heart disease for an otherwise healthy individual should begin at the age of 30. FH is a genetic disorder characterised by high cholesterol levels, especially very high levels of LDL (low density lipoprotein) or bad cholesterol, leading to early cardiovascular disease. Even 10-yearolds can be diagnosed with FH and early detection is the key." Explains cardiologist Dr Kartikeya Bhargava, Medanta Heart Institute, "Hearing or seeing that a 24-year-old-boy suffered a heart attack is becoming more common. FH may be responsible in few cases. However, it is the lifestyle related factors that are responsible for the worsening scenario."

 

He adds, "Coronary artery disease generally affects Indians a decade earlier compared to the Western population. Also, the disease in Indians is more severe compared to those in the West, probably due to genetic predisposition. This genetic tendency is made worse with the increasingly deteriorating lifestyle of urban young adults. Some estimates indicate that heart disease is the single largest killer surpassing diabetes, tuberculosis and cancer in a city like Delhi. The rising incidence of heart attacks among the youth is due to a combination of risk factors that include smoking or tobacco use, psychological stress, sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise. Family history of heart disease in parents or siblings compounds this risk."

 

How can one recognise an impending heart attack? According to Dr Ashok Seth, cardiologist, Fortis Escorts Hospitals, about 60 per cent of patients complain of a typical severe chest pain, accompanied by pain in the left arm, nausea, perspiration. About 15-20 per cent experience indigestion or pain in the back, minus any sweating. A jaw pain is more suspect if it's also accompanied by discomfort in the throat. A 'silent heart attack' is more common with complaints of 'gas' or indigestion. Advises Dr Seth, "If the indigestion is not relieved by antacids and persists for over an hour, get an ECG done. We get patients who have taken antacids all night long to get rid of indigestion and by morning, they suffer a heart attack."

Take control of your life, the earlier the better!
 
Watch your heart
- A 'silent heart attack' is more common with complaints of 'gas' or indigestion.
- If the indigestion is not relieved by antacids and persists for over an hour, get an ECG done.
 
Making healthy choices
- Restrict eating out to once a week.
- If you're at a business meeting, opt for salads, with non-fatty dressings.
- Introduce fibres in your diet through bran and wheat flour.
- Snack on flax seeds and walnuts, which are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids.
- Cut down on red meat and egg yolks that are high in cholesterol.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-03-16/health/28694107_1_heart-attack-heart-ailments-potato-chips

No meat, please!

Anuradha Varma, TNN / Mar 24, 2011
 
From carrying 'mathris' to ready-to-eat meals and packets of 'namkeen', vegetarians travelling abroad have to cope with a lot of extra baggage. Amitabh Agnihotri, who travelled to the US for a fortnight two years ago with his family, stocked up on ready-to-eat meals for the trip. After the experience, Amitabh, a teacher in La Martiniere, Lucknow, has decided to introduce his younger son to eating meat. "My elder son is nine-years-old and isn't comfortable trying out meat. However, our one-and-a-half-year-old chomped merrily on 'chicken popcorn' at an eatery. I don't want my son facing the problems I did."

Recalls journalist Ashok Easwaran, who travels mostly within the US, "One incident I remember is going to McDonalds in a US airport and asking for anything vegetarian. The counter clerk responded with a sweet smile, 'I suggest fries'. She did, however, manage to rustle up a salad for me eventually. With the number of vegetarians increasing in the US, it is much easier to get vegetarian food today."

In many countries, the concept of being vegetarian is difficult to explain. Baffled waiters in Bangkok and Hong Kong repeat after you in shock as you recite, "no meat — no chicken, no beef, no pork, no mutton, no fish — and no egg." Some are kind enough to let you know that even the 'vegetarian' fare has been cooked in pork stock! The Lonely Planet guide carries a statutory warning for vegetarians visiting Hong Kong. It says, "There are probably more than 101 ways to accidentally eat meat in Hong Kong. A plate of greens is probably cooked in meat stock and served with oyster sauce."

According to Karan Anand, head—relationships, Cox and Kings Ltd, the number of vegetarians who travel as compared to others is 50:50. He says, "To a large extent, it is not difficult to find vegetarian restaurants across the world. Having said that, the most challenging destinations are from Eastern Europe."

Says computer engineer Prameela Saligram, originally from Bangalore and currently based in Florence, "I remember being surprised at the large variety of yummy vegetarian options in Austria! In Florence, they pride themselves for their bistecca (It's one of the best beefs in the world, according to some), and proscuitto (cured ham). Not eating these things is like going to south India and not trying idli or dosa. The most important thing I've learnt (the hard way) is that you have to find out how to say you're vegetarian in the local language, because vegetarianism is different things to different people. Some think white meat / seafood is vegetarian."

From the time you board the flight, you can look forward to limited meal options. In-flight meals usually feature a biryani, rajma-chawal or an insipid cup of readymade noodles. Once you land, it's an uphill battle. Says Shilpa Mehra, "The tapas in Spain is like an omelete, stuffed with potatoes, cheese, etc. It's difficult to explain that vegetarian also means no eggs. In Germany, a lot of animal fat is used for cooking. England is the best, because it has lots of Indian restaurants."

She advises, "Stick to fruits, salads, chocolates, milk, cheese, bread, biscuits, tea and coffee and ice-cream. Try going to an Italian restaurant to order a familiar pasta or risotto." Adds Prameela, "It's not as hard as one thinks, though, to travel the world and be vegetarian. Sure, in some countries (like Japan), you may not get as many choices as you want, but one can survive on bread and cheese (and eggs), or rice and sauteed veggies and soya sauce."

Of course, on the positive side, if you're a vegetarian looking at knocking off some unwanted kilos, a foreign jaunt could be just what the doctor ordered! 

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/people/No-meat-please/articleshow/7691620.cms