Parenting on pause

A teen who mows down people in his luxury car, an infant whose parent changes her sex… Is it time such parents lost custody? Anuradha Varma reports

A child who is sexually or physically abused at home, infant girls who are surgically transformed into boys at their parents’ behest, a child who has access to a chauffeur-driven car and iPod but is sent to school without a bath or breakfast… Is it time for parents to be held accountable and have their parenting rights questioned?

In the West, social workers from Child Protection Services investigate cases of neglect and abuse and retain custody of children found living in an hostile environment. In India, while the Child Welfare Committee is vested with similar authority, it treads carefully. Says Raj Mangal Prasad, chairperson, CWC, “In India, parents treat children as their property. We have to do a balancing act. There are kids who complain that their parents are not providing them an Internet connection or being late with their school fees. Any child above the age of seven can have his say in the courts.”

The Salaam Balak Trust, which looks after runaway children, dealt with 450 runaways last year alone. Says AK Tiwari, “Most were victims of physical abuse. They may have been sexually abused as well. We try and rehabilitate them with their families, but in many cases, we realise they have to stay away.”

Explains Ajay Sinha, Policy Advocacy, CRY, “The Juvenile Justice Act has a concept of ‘fit institution’. Even a family can be classified as ‘not a fit institution’ for the child by the concerned CWC. If sex change operations have indeed been conducted on children, the CWC of that area can and should take suo-moto cognisance of the cases. Children have a right to identity, derived from the right to life. But a note of caution here: the alternatives - i.e. the Children’s Homes are in bad shape and are not conducive for children's development and wellbeing.”

On foster homes, Pinki Virani, the author of Bitter Chocolate: Child Sexual Abuse in India says, “We don’t have a system as yet. And it’s not a utopian solution. But we certainly need to start laying the groundwork for foster care since it will be required once the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Bill, 2011 becomes law. It is now in the Rajya Sabha, after deliberation — and what one sincerely hopes will be several corrections — will go the Lok Sabha. Meanwhile, let us understand that this is about what is best for the broken child. There might be the other parent (the mother/father) who has not actively colluded or blood relatives who can step in. The child cannot be yanked out, brutally, to a completely strange environment when the system is not in place to really let him, or her, feel safe thereafter.”

Adds Virani, “Aren’t we reading reports of severe physical and sexual abuse in government-run child-care homes? And thanks to the watchfulness of the media we also increasingly read — even though attempts are made by those organisations to cover-up because it would affect their funding — of paedophiles working in NGOs. So, at all times, as adults whose bounden duty is to protect our vulnerable children, we should watch out for not only the very first ‘bad touch’ but thereafter for the secondary victimisation which can sometimes prove to be even more damaging to the child’s psyche.”

Comments Vidya Reddy, Tulir Centre for the Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse (CPHCSA), “Parenting happens by default and if there was a test, not many would pass. Often, children of sex workers are taken away from their custody. They are not necessarily bad parents. What about rich children who kill people on the road in their Mercedes? Shouldn’t such parents be held responsible too? There are many cases of neglect in affluent society too.”

The law needs to look at things in a holistic way. Vidya adds, “In a recent case, the father was accused of incest, but the mother was arrested too as an accomplice. Now, the child may turn hostile in court, knowing her mother is at risk too.” What if a rapist father returns home after serving his sentence? “Nobody can do anything if the family takes him back,” remarks Vidya. Time for the social agencies to step in?