Muslim, American, female, and in love

Anuradha Varma chats with Nura Maznavi on what it took to gather 24 portraits of the private love lives of feisty American Muslim women.

Nura Maznavi

It was a conversation over coffee that prompted 33-year-old civil rights attorney Nura Maznavi and 39-year-old Ayesha Mattu, blogger and international development consultant, to put together an anthology of American Muslim women "who are funny and opinionated and have vibrant love lives" in a bid to bust the silent-and-suppressed myth.

The just-launched Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women received hundreds of submissions once word spread through social media and academic networks. The contributors, some with origins in Pakistan and East Africa, touch on sexuality, racism and homophobia as they balance their faith and American identity while finding the man - and in some cases, woman - of their dreams.

And it's hardly all horror. Zahra Noorbaksh, a stand-up comedian, writes a wit-laced account of sex talk at 14 with her Iranian immigrant mother.

Maznavi's own story is set in Sri Lanka, where she arrived as a Fulbright Scholar. "Being abroad made me realise how very American I am, and how much my Muslim identity impacted how I approached the possibility of a relationship with a man, in this case a Catholic," she says.

Excerpts from an interview with Maznavi:
 
Why do you call the stories 'secret'?

We were motivated by the absence of authentic voices of Muslim women out there. The sensational stories - forced marriages, honour killings, child brides - get the news, as do stories that perpetuate the myth that Muslim women are suppressed and silent. But those weren't the stories of women we know, neither were they ours! The book works towards contributing to increasingly multi-ethnic and diverse American literature.
The 'secret' in title refers to the fact that in the greater American community, these stories aren't often heard. Within the Muslim community, they aren't shared openly because there is the fear of being judged, ostracised or shamed. It's an interesting title.
 
Were you apprehensive of courting trouble, though?

We wanted a title that captured both, the universality of love and the Muslim twist highlighted in our stories. Ayesha's husband, Randy came up with the title, and we loved it. It conveys the idea that the search for love is one that all people can relate to, regardless of background. And 'InshAllah (God willing)' is a term used widely among Muslims, embodying the idea that it is only by the will of God that we attain what we seek in life.
 

How does love find a voice is Islam?

Not only is the desire to love and be loved universal, but love is inextricably linked with Islam and is the very essence of being human. How the women express this emotion and their faith is different, depending on their family background and individual beliefs. It's fascinating to see how faith and their connection with God manifests itself - or not - in the different stories.
Islam has attracted several Western converts. In one chapter, a woman asks her partner if she can divorce her husband on grounds of dissatisfaction. Does Islam empower women?
I've heard that the number of women converting to Islam is greater than men. For all the women in the book, Islam is part of their identity and an empowering force in their lives.
 
Do you think Indian Muslim women will find a connect?

The stories in Love InshAllah touch on universal themes that will move women from all over the world, including India. It tackles issues of sexuality, racism, homophobia, classism and identity. The response to it in India will be fascinating to watch because just as there is diversity within the American Muslim community, there is incredible diversity in India, across regions, religions, languages and practices. We hope Indian women are inspired to tell their own stories.
 
Any happy endings after the launch?

For several writers, this was a first in sharing personal details about their love lives, with their families and friends. The process was empowering but nerve wracking too. Yasmine Khan's is a lovely account of meeting a wonderful man and finding out shortly thereafter that he is divorced and has a young daughter. The story ends with Yasmine reflecting on their relationship and praying that she lives happily ever after. And she's on her way there! She got married last fortnight.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/books/Muslim-American-female-and-in-love/articleshow/11858753.cms